Stress is a major cause to all problems including health and mind and I know it has been a while since my last post. I’ve been re-looking at a lot of things recently. The competition that I’m taking part this weekend has caused me immense stress. Work stress, Family stress, Thinking about what to write in this blog, you name it and I’m facing it all.

Ive been training hard. Haven’t been able to burn off most of my lower belly fat. I keep training and training. Its tough. I realized. Dieting and dieting and it’s already been 3 weeks. I’m now running my last week. I’m not happy at the way things are going. Therefore I’ve decided to take a break. Stop everything. I’ve stopped all gym training sessions. I haven’t seen my trainer for almost 2 weeks.

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It’s been tough. I’ve teared many times as I walked around thinking about what’s happening. Looks like it’s tougher than I thought. Well I know life still goes on. I want to give my best. I want to be a perfectionist but even I make mistakes. Accepting Failure is a tough one. Sometimes I just feel like screaming at the top of my voice and letting off some steam. Even that seems tough. Conscious about others hearing me. I have started partying again. I attended a beach event Wavehouse last Saturday and thereafter clubbing at World Music. Been drinking more and skipping my gym routine.
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So I’ve decided to take a break from everything. I need a break. I need to walk away. I am not running away from my problems. I’m just moving away so I can breathe. I can rest. I can recover. My body is not a machine and I don’t think it was made to handle so much pressure. I may just break. I know this sounds crazy but I just want to have some wine and eat what I want from now on. I want to feel calm again. I want to feel happy about the process I am going through.

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I am not going to lose myself and become someone else because of this competition. I am going away on a break to really understand myself better and I really need this break. Not going to hurt myself. This stress is too immense and is breaking me. The competition is on Saturday. I want to enjoy the next few days. I’m not going further punish myself and stress myself anymore. I just want to be happy. I am bigger than all these. Why worry about things that are beyond my control. Why worry about not winning when winning is not everything in life. Sometimes it’s the process of getting there that you learn more things. I’ve definitely learnt a lot from this journey.

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Well anyway at the end of it all I’ve got only until Friday to rest..

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Wine anyone?